Billy Crystal--Comedy's Sweetheart


© Candice Livingston
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If you have watched any TV lately, you have probably seen the previews for "America's Sweethearts", scheduled to hit theaters July 20. Yes, it has several big name stars that are certainly draws, such as Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta-Jones and John Cusack. But there is one that almost guarantees the movie will be funny-Billy Crystal. He makes his mark on every movie in which he plays a part. Take "The Princess Bride"; Crystal's role as Miracle Max was only a few minutes of the entire movie, but everyone remembers those minutes well. Here are some of the lines that made those and other moments from his films memorable...


The Princess Bride

Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed!


When Harry Met Sally...

Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.

Harry Burns: The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe that (a) You're not home, (b) You're home but you don't want to talk to me, or (c) You're home, desperately want to talk to me, but you're trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please give me a call.


City Slickers

Mitch Robbins: Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When you're a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, "What happended to my twenties?" Your forties, you grow a little pot belly you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from highschool becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at

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