Ralphie…..Peter Billingsley
Randy…..Ian Petrella
Mother…..Melinda Dillon
Old Man (Ralphie’s Dad))…..Darren McGavin
Old Man: What is the name of the Lone Ranger’s nephew’s horse?
Mother: Uh, Victor. His name is Victor.
Old Man: How the [heck] did you know that?
Mother: Everybody knows that.
Ralphie: Hey Dad, I’ll bet you never guess what I got you for Christmas.
Old Man: A new furnace.
Ralphie: That’s a good one, Dad.
Ralphie as an Adult: My old man was one of the most feared furnace fighters in northern Indiana.
Ralphie: My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.
Randy: Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beatloaf. I hate meatloaf.
Old Man: Alright, I’ll get that kid to eat. Where’s my screwdriver and my plumber’s helper? I’ll open his mouth, and I’ll shove it in.
Ralphie as an Adult: Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm but subtle.
Ralphie: Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Polaski’s candy store.
Ralphie as an Adult: They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. I could tell I was in imminent danger of overplaying my hand.
Old Man: Fra-jee-lay. That must be Italian.
Mother: I think it says “Fragile”.
Ralphie: Only one thing in the world could have dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.
Mother: That is the ugliest lamp I have ever seen in my entire life.
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