Dorothy: No kidding. I looked over and saw the shadow of two curious shoes under the kitchen door.
Laurel: Dorothy, this guy would go home with a gardening tool if it showed interest.
Tidwell: Anyone else would have left you by now, but I'm sticking with you. And if I have to ride your [butt] like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money.
Laurel: I'm incapable of small talk.
Dorothy: On the surface, everything seems fine. I've got this great guy, and he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can't live like that. It's not the way I'm built.
Jerry: I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game featuring you, while singing your own song in a new commercial starring you, broadcast during the Superbowl in a game you are winning, and I will not sleep until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.
Rod: You're hanging on by a very thin thread, and I dig that about you.
Jerry: How's your head?
Rod: Bubblicious.
Dorothy: Maybe love shouldn't be such hard work.
Jerry: Do you want this jacket? I don't need it. I'm cloaked in failure.
Jerry: What do you want from me? My soul?
Dorothy: Why not? I deserve that much.
Tidwell: Show me the money!!
Jerry: This is going to change everything.
Dorothy: Promise?
Jerry: I won't let you get rid of me.
Jerry: I love you. You...complete me.
Dorothy: Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "hello".
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