Frank Cross: You are a hallucination brought on by alcohol. Russian Vodka poisoned by Chernobyl!
Eliot Loudermilk: That thing looked like the 'Manson Family Christmas Special'.
Frank Cross: If I'm working late, you gotta work late. If you can't work late, I can't work late. If I can't work late, I can't work late.
Frank Cross: Come on Lou, you paid for the women.
James Cross: You know what they say about people who treat other people bad on the way up?
Frank Cross: Yeah, you get to treat 'em bad on the way back down, too. It's great! You get two chances to rough 'em up.
Frank Cross: If you touch me again, I'm gonna rip your...wings off.
Ghost of Christmas Present: You know I like the rough stuff, don't you Frank?
Frank Cross: I never liked a girl well enough to give her 12 sharp knives.
Ghost of Christmas Past: Let's face it Frank. Garden slugs got more out of life than you.
Frank Cross: Yeah? Name one.
Ghost of Christmas Past: They can't hear us. They can't see us. This is not live; it's like a rerun.
Frank Cross: We have spent 40 million dollars on a live TV show. You guys got an ad with America's favorite old fart reading a book in front of a fireplace! Now I have to kill all of you.
Props Man: I can't get the antlers glued to this little guy. We tried crazy glue, but it don't work.
Frank Cross: Did you try staples?
Frank Cross: Scrape them off. If you want to save somebody, save yourself.
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