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Miss Scarlet: Why has the car stopped? Professor Plum: It's frightened. Colonel Mustard: Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet? Miss Scarlet: Sure. I'll eat anything. Colonel Mustard: And are you the host? Wadsworth: Me, sir? No. I'm just the humble butler. Colonel Mustard: And what exactly is it you do here? Wadsworth: I buttle, sir. Wadsworth: His license to practice has been lifted, correct? Miss Scarlet: Why? What did he do? Wadsworth: You know what doctors aren't allowed to do with their lady patients? Miss Scarlet:Yeah. Wadsworth: Well, he did. Wadsworth: Yvette, please attend to the Colonel and give him anything he requires...within reason that is. Mrs. Peacock: What are you all staring at? Mr. Green: Nothing. Mrs. Peacock: Well, who's there? Colonel Mustard: Nobody. Mrs. Peacock: What do you mean? Wadsworth: Nobody. No body. That's what we mean. Mr. Boddy's body! It's gone! Mrs. Peacock: Do you know if there's a ladies room around? Yvette: Oui, oui, Madame. Mrs. Peacock: No, no. I just have to powder my nose. Chief: Good evening. Have you ever given any thought to the Kingdom of Heaven? Mrs. Peacock: What? Chief: Repent. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. Miss Scarlet: You ain't just whistlin' Dixie. Chief: Armageddon is almost upon us. Professor Plum: I got news for you, it's already here. Colonel Mustard: There's still one thing I don't understand. Mrs. White: One thing? Mr. Green: There's still one thing I don't understand. Professor Plum: One thing? Wadsworth: Why would anyone want to kill him twice? Miss Scarlet: It seems so unnecessary. Colonel Mustard: It's what we call overkill. Professor Plum: It's what we call a psychotic. Mrs. White: Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage. Mr. Green: It is political. You're a communist. Miss Scarlet: No, Mr. Green. Communism is just a red herring. Like all members of the oldest profession, I'm a capitalist. Wadsworth: Ours is not to reason why; ours is but to do and die. Mrs. White: He had always threatened to kill me in public. Miss Scarlet: Why would he want to kill you in public? |
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