Sally's great advice to Harry after seeing his ex-wife, and he takes out his marital frustrations on their soon-to-be-married best friends, Jess and Marie:
You can't express every feeling you have every moment you have them.
Why Sally broke up with her old boyfriend:
Sally: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and I had these days of the week underpants.
Harry: Ehhhh! I'm sorry. I need the judges ruling on this. Days of the week underpants?
Sally: Yes. They had the days of the week on them, and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me, "You never wear Sunday." It was all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn't believe me.
Harry: What?
Sally: They don't make Sunday.
Harry: Why not?
Sally: Because of God.
Harry's insight on what defines a relationship:
Harry: You take someone to the airport, it's clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
Sally: Why?
Harry: Because eventually things move on, and you don't take someone to the airport, and I never wanted anyone to say to me, "How come you never take me to the airport anymore?"
Sally: It's amazing. You look like a normal person, but actually you are the angel of death.
Harry's sincere concern for a friend, left on Sally's answering machine:
The fact that you are not answering leads me to believe that
a) You're not home
b) You're home but don't want to talk to me, or
c) You're home, desperately want to talk to me,
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