This is an Article that is submitted to the Web By Alacritas from Auburn, AL.
ALIEN! My scary encounter with a space alien.
The following anecdote occurred about five years ago. I can't remember if I've ever posted it to this website before, so forgive me if it seems familiar. I was home from college for the summer, at my parent's house on the edge of town (in Alabama). I was bored one day, so I got on my bike and headed down the road and into the woods. There were some access roads and a couple of miles of singletrack in those woods, none of which saw too much use. (It saddens me a bit to think about that trail, because the land developers have since attacked it. Are there any places left untouched?) I'd ridden the woods loop several times before. On this hot day I was having an extraordinary amount of fun speeding through the woods.
There was one particular section of the singletrack that curved around and down a knoll; it had perfect, moist dirt, so I could carry serious speed around the knoll. And on that day I certainly had the speed. Everything was a blur except the narrow singletrack corridor just ahead. Well, somewhere near the apex of the sweeping turn and at great speed, the freakiest creature I've ever seen appeared inches in front of my Oakleys. It was HAIRY, with MANY CANDY-STRIPED YELLOW AND BLACK LEGS, and it COVERED my field of vision! I nearly became spastic! I managed to keep the bike aimed down the singletrack while I hauled down to an emergency stop. Before the bike was even stopped I leaped off and started fumbling to get my helmet off. I immediately got it off and threw it and my glasses onto the ground to keep that BEAST from eating my face! I truly believed that what was on my face was a man-eating monster. Well, my helmet landed right-side-up on the dirt, and the creature somehow landed right on top of the helmet. Then I could see plainly what sort of creature this was. It was indeed covered in candy-striped hair; it was a hairy spider whose leg span was as large as the helmet. It looked like it could eat the helmet! To this day it is the largest spider that I've ever seen. It was such a strange sight to me that it would have looked right at home in _Alien III_. What was maybe worse, my face and bike were covered in the stickiest, thickest, nastiest spider web you could imagine. I pulled the gooey webs off my face, body, and bike, and proceed to get the spider off of my helmet. That took some time, and by then I was just sure that the thing was from outer space. I used a stick to flick the thing off the helmet that was still laying on the dirt.
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