The Inadequacy Plague

I have spend several days trying to find something to write about. Most of the time I have ideas to last a year, but over the last week or more it's been different. I was due to have my third boy in April. Instead he arrived on March 5, making it 6 weeks early. With two small boys at home, a husband, and other obligations, I have had troubles trying to manage everything. That feeling of inadequacy has plagued my world nonstop. As any mother would agree, my mom would say "the parental feeling of inadequacy begins before birth and lasts a lifetime... for some it's as common as indigestion." As for me, I could say that I suffer from severe indigestion.

I have several suggestions to help with this feeling of inadequacy that mothers feel from looking at the reality of the situation (not the super mom view) to remembering to take care of yourself. Instead, I am going to discuss something more specific. For me, being at the hospital every day for what they say to be at least 3 weeks, I have felt like I have let my boys down. Either I am leaving them with family or I am "in my own world" when I am with them. When I become stressed or preoccupied, I either write or read. So I went down to the library to find a book I could read while sitting in the hospital. I picked up this great book called Put Your Heart On Paper by Henriette Anne Klauser. (You will find this in my library.) One of the things that she talks about is a journal exchanged between two people. On went the light bulb. When it comes to mothers and sons, talking (which women love to do) doesn't happen with boys, except with young boys it might be easy to sit and talk with your son. With work or other activities that have you away from your boys, or older boys who don't want to talk with mom, making time or getting them to talk is impossible. Klauser writes about parents and children, husbands and wives, and even friends keeping a journal just between the two of them. In this journal you can write those three little words some parents find hard to say, your feelings about a situation, or just a chance to share some hellos if it's been a while since you have gotten to write. This will give you mothers a chance to share something special with your son as he grows and experiences different things in life.

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