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What's the Magic Word?

© Stacy Hinkle

I was sitting at the table trying to have a decent meal with my husband and boys. Everybody knows that having a meal with small children at the table isn't always relaxing. Instead I found myself asking my son to either eat with his fork or his fingers on one side, dodging flying burrito parts from the other side, and saying, "What's the magic word". Moms everywhere, including myself, hope that their child will eventually grow to say please and thank you. With young children at the table, it gives every mother a chance to lay the foundation of manners as well as other situations. At first you probably will feeling like you are not getting anywhere, but with time and consistency manners will eventually start to show. There are three different areas of manners at my house that I use to spread the foundation: magic words, table manners, and phone manners.

How many times have you said, "What's the magic word?" For me, so many that it comes naturally. I even remember my parents using that line with me. So what are the magic words? Please, thank you, your welcome, I'm sorry, and excuse me are what cross my mind. The best way to start teaching magic words with young children is to use them yourself. Young children love to model the behavior, good or bad, of the adults and even other children. When my first son's father came to drop him off at my house when he was 1 1/2, he told me that he couldn't believe how much our son said please and thank you. Then he wanted to know how we did it. I just informed him that we used those words in the house and he just repeated them.

I have also discovered that as they grow, moms still have to prompt their kids to say the magic words. I have found that not letting them have what they want until they say please works the best. As time passes, they learn that they can't have what they want without saying please and will do it automatically. This also works for those bigger boys in the house, such as husbands, if you are trying to teach them to set a good example. When it comes to saying you're welcome, it takes kids more time to learn this one. You can explain why we use it and prompt him to say it. I don't expect them to say it until they are 4 or 5; so don't force it on younger kids.

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