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Peer Pressure

© April Lee Schmidt

Well, my darling daughter Samantha is now officially a high school student. She is also a JR. Varsity cheerleader this year. According to Samantha, when she wears her uniform she is a much more outgoing teen. “It makes me brave,” she said. “I am not afraid to talk to anyone.”

I do not envy teenagers and the pressures they place on themselves to be so sociable on a daily basis. Unfortunately for Samantha, she has inherited her mother and grandmother’s social anxiety. I am so relieved that she has found a means to manage it so well.

There is one particular student at school that gives her a hard time. For some reason that she can not explain, this student intimidates her. He makes teasing remarks similar to those that other male ‘friends’ make, but coming from him they seem to be more hurtful.

I had my own nemesis in high school. I suppose everyone has them whether or not they suffer from ‘social anxiety’ or shyness. Samantha did confide in me that this particular student’s demeanor towards her is affecting the rest of her social life. She is fighting to stay outgoing while tempted to shut herself out. She feels her self esteem is much lower around this particular student.

She does not want my interference. However,if the situation were to get out of hand I believe it would be my duty as a parent to intervene. I have heard all the excuses there are for teasing. “Kids will be kids” and “that is the way it is in the real world. I have even heard that it is human nature for our children to establish a ‘pecking order’. Personally I think that is a bunch of hogwash.

In the ‘real world’ or out in the job force belittling a person is called harassment. Eventually someone puts a stop to it. So why shouldn’t we start teaching our children proper behavior towards one another now while they are still young. Teenage years are difficult enough without additional pressures being applied from each other.

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