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When Daughter Becomes a Mother.

© April Lee Schmidt

I always thought daughters wanted their mothers with them when they were going to give birth. I have discovered this is not always the case. Both times that I gave birth I was glad to have my mother with me. She did not come into the delivery room when I gave birth either time. Nevertheless, knowing she was there at the hospital somehow made the experience much more comfortable.

I really cannot give a concrete answer as to why this was. Perhaps it goes back to my early childhood and feeling that Mom could make any pain go away or at least not hurt as much. Perhaps it was because I could finally appreciate what my Mother went through bringing me into the world. Maybe it was a combination of all this and more.

I recently asked a group of daughters who are now mothers themselves and approximately 30% were happy to have their mom present. Out of the other 70%, most of them felt it was an intimate occasion between them and their baby's father. A few wanted to spare their mother's feelings and a few felt their mothers would add to their anxiety.

I began to wonder about the other side of the spectrum. When a daughter is giving birth, how do their mothers feel about attending or not attending the births? The 'grandmothers' I spoke to were happy to honor their daughters' wishes. However, they were all more at ease if they were in close proximity of the grand occasion.

Whether or not your mother will be present when you give birth www.childbirth.org is a great site with plenty of information. Mothers, if you have a daughter that is expecting why not send them the link so they know your thoughts are with them.

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