Home » Partners & Parents » Motherless Mothering » Mothers as Breadwinner

Mothers as Breadwinner

© Jody Hart Lehrer

I am increasingly put off by the lack of classes, lessons, activity groups, and courses for the children of women who work outside the home. Time and time again I have sought to enroll my daugher Hannah in a class (say, karate or music) only to be told that the available time slots are on WEEKDAYS during the day (for example, at noon or 10 a.m.)

Do people think that mothers these days are simply sitting around at home all day waiting to take kids to karate classes? More and more mothers these days work outside of the home. In fact, greater numbers of mothers are employed outside of the home today than at any other time in history.

I, personally, think this is a good thing. To say anything different is to trample on the idea of women as career-oriented individuals and, once again, to relegate the role of "breadwinner" to men. The fact of the matter is, of course, that both mother and father are equally well-suited to careers outside the home and both should be equal partners in rearing children (whether as stay at home parents or as professionals employed outside the home who see their children after 5:00 p.m.).

The message to women who work outside the home seems to be "if you choose not to be at home all day with your children, you forfeit the right to get kids involved in the many wonderful courses and activities available to the children of stay at home moms."

Even more irritating is that your CHILD misses out on taking classes, whether it is gymnastics, introduction to music, theater, or whatever, simply because her SELFISH mother chose to have a career - rather than to stay at home all day.

And, let's face it, working women STILL have go home in the evening and cook, clean and take care of children, even if their children are in daycare during the days.

In short, mothers who work outside the home should have the SAME options as stay-at-home mothers with respect to enrolling children in classes and activity groups. This is to say that given that women are working outside the home in substantial numbers, evening courses and weekend courses should be readily available.

I know that I am every bit as committed, as devoted, and as nurturing a mother as any stay-at-home-mother. I do not buy into that I am somehow "less" devoted to motherhood by virtue of my having a career.