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Nursing Mother, Working Mother - Page 2

© Amy Condra-Peters

considered unprofessional to talk about babies, but what is the definition of professional? Somebody who acts like a man? There needs to be an attitudinal change. I don't see things changing, for women and children, until this happens.

Q. In your book you discuss the historical context in which women have traditionally combined working with mothering - can you provide an overview of this?

Historically, women have always worked hard. Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt, an ethologist whom I quote frequently in the book, documented that women in the Kung tribe in the Kalahari put in forty-hour work week! The difference is that their work is integratable with childrearing - they're not separated from their children while they work. And that is the only new thing about women's work, that it is separated from childraising. This seems to be an overlooked fact! This goes back to the forces that have us living two different lives - that's what's new, not working. We have always worked. The problem now is that we have to be separated from our children while we work, in more ways than one - not just physically, but we also have to be separated mentally. This separation is what prompted me to think about attachment parenting.

Q. Many women worry that calling attention to their needs as mothers will stigmatize them in the workplace, or lessen their chances of advancement? How can individual women realistically effect change in the workplace?

This depends on the corporate culture in which the individual finds herself - in some places you can be very open and forthright, and in others you have to be more subtle. You should keep in mind that there are forces that try to get you to hide the part of you that is a mother - you need to resist this in your own way that is effective for you, whether this means framing your child's artwork and hanging it next to your business school diploma or wearing jewelry that your toddler made for you as part of your business attire. The best way is to build rapport between yourself and other parents at work. This comes again from being empathetic, listening well, and finding places where you can help. The solution is not to turn people off by going on and on about your baby! But the first step to a solution is resisting the feeling that you have to hide your motherhood.

Read Part II of my interview with Gale Pryor on August 7!

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