Get Your Tennis Shoes: Author's Christmas Flop Can't Compare

After reading the first book in Chris Heimerdinger’s Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites series, I was anxious to read more of the LDS author’s work. Since the juvenile fiction section of my local library never seems to have the Tennis Shoes novels in stock, I opted for a holiday story, Heimerdinger’s A Return to Christmas(1996). Unfortunately, a few pages into the improbable tale, I realized that I, like Heimerdinger, should have stuck to LDS adventure stories.

The book’s biggest problem is that it relies on a major, far-fetched coincidence to kick-start the action and unravel the flimsy plot. The story opens with Artemus Holiday sitting grumpily in the backseat of his parents’ Lexus, while the rest of his family gathers around the tombstone of his twin brother, who drowned on Christmas Day eight years before. It’s December 20, the twins’ birthday, and all Artemus can think about is how much he hates this time of year. His thoughts explain his contempt: “For the last eight years . . . all he could recall about December was that it was a month shrouded by gloom and depression and sojourns to the cemetery . . . If only he could escape . . . and find a place where pain and guilt and terrible memories were not allowed and could never follow him” (pgs. 4 & 5). His demeanor changes when his family returns to the car; Artemus insists that they take him to a mall on the other side of town, give him the Visa, and let him shop for his own birthday gifts. Stomping out of the car, he enters Nordstrom Rack, where he almost instantly bumps into . . . you guessed it, his long lost twin. The other boy, Chess Folsom, has been raised by his uncle, a small-time crook, and has come into the clothing store to shoplift himself some new winter duds. The boys laugh off their similarities, but Artemus’s haughty attitude makes him a prime victim for Chess’s theft. As soon as Artemus realizes his clothes are gone, he chases Chess out into the street. A drunk driver plows into them, and both are knocked unconscious. When the boys come to it is too late; they have switched places. Artemus finds himself en route to Las Vegas with a crusty bum claiming to be his uncle, while Chess wakes up in a hospital with Artemus’s parents looking on worriedly. After all of this has occurred, the reader cannot help but ask, “What is the likelihood of that happening?” Obviously, the chances of a coincidental reuniting and mixing up of twins is slim indeed. How does Heimerdinger explain the unlikely situation? A Christmas miracle, of course!

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