Role-Playing Games and Monster Misfits


© Sarah Davis

The success of fantasy role-plating games has resulted in the production of a large number of fantasy bestiaries, in which the creatures of myth and folklore, as well as many original creatures meant to occupy the same settings, are described, illustrated and explained in game terms, so that they may be easily introduced into fantasy adventure plots.

Many of the creatures designed specifically for role-playing games are devastatingly majestic or horrific, and are in keeping with the ecological and thematic settings they are meant to occupy.

Unfortunately, a great many others are what can only be defined as misfit creatures, which tend to be somewhat less noble, sometimes crossing over into the downright silly.

These creatures do not necessarily have less in common with actual folkloric creatures than their noble cousins (American folklore's "Squonk" and "Gumbaroo" are all the evidence we need of this), but their appearance in game manuals, or, when game master and developers are feeling especially facetious, in the scenarios themselves, can be, shall we say, quite amusing.

A few examples of extreme RPG monster-design madness:

Antwerp-

These nasties appear in four out of the five Quest for Glory computer adventure games. Their name, of course, does not indicate Belgian heritage, but was probably selected based solely on pronunciation.(due to the fact that, as one of my past dorm-mates once observed, "they certainly look like a twerp of some kind.")

Antwerps are deemed "far too ridiculous to describe" by at least one of the QfG series' rulebooks, but it can't hurt to try. The typical antwerp resembles an especially-bulbous, flocked bean-bag chair about four feet in diameter crowned by a creepy., red-eyed arachnoid head. These elastic, unipodal critters bounce wildly about the forest (with a continuous and singularly annoying "BOO-OING!!" sound effect!) mashing prey flat with their sizable posteriors.

When employed in battle, the tend to fall out of trees, closets, enemies' deadfall traps, etc, flattening the intrepid hero more often than not. (Hmm..maybe they are too ridiculous to describe- Here's a picture, just in case.)

Killjoy-

Killjoys, appearing in the TORG RPG's "Creatures of Orrosh" supplement, are undoubtedly inspired by the 1988 B-movie "Killer Clowns from Outer Space" (A film which also belongs in the category of things "far too ridiculous to describe" ).

These clowns with attitude also appeared in an episode of the more recent science fiction series "Ghostbusters:Extreme", in which they were also referred to as "killjoys".

It is a known fact that, due to entertainment-related traumas early in life, many people suffer from serious clown phobias, but, considering that this product is designed for a Colonial-Victorian Gothic setting, the import of "Killer Klowns" klones comes across as more than a little silly.

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