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Opinion: Men Who Ogle Belly Dancers - Page 2

© Shira

If someone snaps a picture of me when I'm doing a show, it wouldn't bother me if they posted that on a personal home page. I figure that goes with the territory of performing in public. But if they wanted to charge people money to view it, I would want to be paid a cut of that!

I don't have a quarrel with men who might want to gather in an online setting somewhere to exchange sexual fantasies featuring belly dancers. Although I don't intend to encourage that sort of discussion here in my Suite101 topic, I wouldn't be offended to stumble on a site somewhere that featured such a discussion.

The main "fetishist" behaviors that do bother me are:

• Theft, as I described above.
• The kind of obsession that leads to stalking and possibly violent behavior (rape, etc.)

Fortunately, the obsessive behavior is rare. I don't think being a dancer increases my vulnerability to it--the newspapers are full of stories about men who obsess over a normal, everyday woman they've met at work, through a friend, etc. and carry it through to violence. As dancers performing in public, we might bring ourselves to the attention of such characters, but I'm not going to let the risk turn me into a shut-in. I'll just try to behave in a way that minimizes the risks.

So, that's a long way of saying that in general, I don't have any quarrel with men who admire belly dancers, but there are certain behaviors that I do have a problem with.

So what do you think?

This article is part of the Suite101 "Middle Eastern Dance" topic area. For the other Suite101 articles, discussion forums, and opinion polls related to Middle Eastern dance, music, and culture, see the Welcome page on Suite101. For other articles written by Shira about these topics, please see Shira's own popular web site at www.shira.net.

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