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Apologies

© lawhawk

Dear Israelis,

I'm sorry that I have not been as successful in stopping the Islamic Jihad, Hamas, Tanzim, Force 17, and other assorted terrorist attacks on our great country. However, it seems every time I do something to nail these guys, a new terrorist organization sprouts up and starts calling for our very destruction. I can't very well let that happen, so I'm announcing that if Iran or Syria even attempts another arms deal that sends more weapons to the Palestinians, we'll bomb the living daylights out of Tehran and Damascus. We bombed Osirak in 1981 because we wanted to let the Iraqis know we wouldn't tolerate such a threat to our national security. Arms transfers to the Palestinians violates the Oslo Accords and is feeding the terrorism against our country. If we stop the flow of arms into the territories, then we would be able to ease the restrictions on the territories.

I must also offer an apology to President Bush of the US. It must be tough for you to have to publicly state that you're disappointed in the Israeli actions against the Palestinian terrorists all while trying to do the same against Al Qaeda in Afghanistan who caused thousands of deaths in New York and Washington. The Arab World is not going to let Israel exist unless it is forced to do so, which is why we cannot let up on the terrorists. If we do, Israel will not exist.

Sincerely, Ariel

Dear Palestinians,

I must apologize for our inability to overcome the Israeli occupation of our homeland - our country. We have not done a good enough job convincing the Israelis that we cannot allow this situation to go on as it currently exists. While I cannot condone the violence, our national identity has been shaped in the crucible of occupation and degrading acts by the Zionists. The Palestinian people deserve their country with Jerusalem as its capital and I will do all that I can to make sure that it happens in our lifetime. It is unfortunate that arms shipments coming in from Iran have been stopped in the meantime while the IDF has stepped up blockades against those arms coming in. Those arms might have been enough to turn the tide and force a bitter stalemate against the IDF, which is all that we could have hoped for.

The desperation in the camps, in Ramallah, Hebron, and Nablus for our lack of economic opportunities and corruption at the local level has produced an excellent opportunity from which our great people will rise up and take what is rightfully ours.

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