For best dictator[s] still living on borrowed time, the nominees are:
While the ballot was close, the winner by starving his nation for years and seeking military domination worldwide by whatever means necessary was Kim il Jung. Unfortunately, Kim could not be with us tonite, as he was busy getting his hair done.
For the best Exit Stage Left by a dictator[s], the nominees are:
The next award scheduled is worst political instincts by a politician, foreign or domestic. I know many of you think that the winner of this contest should be obvious, we had to run the nominations anyway. And, when we did, we came to a surprising conclusion. The exit polls were right. Without further ado, the nominations:
And, the winner is... John Kerry. This was perhaps the most difficult category on which to judge, but it all boiled down to the most infuriating political gaffe - that Kerry attempted to have his cake, eat it too, and then claim to be on Atkins all at the same time - when he said that he voted for the $87 billion before he voted against it (or was it vice versa?). The Dean scream was a grand piece of theater, but it could have been his meds kicking in. Kofi and Jacques were playing to type, and as a consolation, they will share the Worst Diplomat of 2004 Award for undermining efforts to stabilize Iraq and for the running joke that is overseeing the UN in its current inglorious amoral iteration [which is the same as its former inglorious amoral iteration, minus the UNSCAM].
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