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UPROOTED

© Bronwen Schoombie

Some people adapt better to new surroundings than others. However, if people can just uproot their whole family and move on every now and again without feeling a tinge of pain, then I have to take my hat off to them. Moving, on the whole, is a very stressful business.

This means that if you have a client who has moved to a new place and is finding it difficult to adapt, then that is normal. So often people beat themselves up for feeling emotions they don't see themselves as being allowed to have. However, once they find out that it is not necessarily a function of themselves, but rather due to the situation they find themselves in, then perhaps they will cope better.

I like to use the analagy of the body. If you have had a particularly strenuous day (physically), most people would give themselves a nice hot bath, and reward themselves with an early night. After all, they have most likely deserved it. However, let them come face to face with a stressful situation in their life, and they cannot allow themselves the "weakness" of not coping or adapting. If you did not rest after a stressful day, you might land up stressing your muscles and perhaps doing yourself a bodily injury – because you are placing too much stress on your muscles or bones.

However, few people seem to give their minds such consideration, and if you do not allow for a time of grieving after leaving a place (or people) you loved, you can also land up suffering from stress, which can be as incapacitating as any physical injury. People need to realize that settling in to a new place takes time. One has to learn the new culture, and they (the people who live there already) have to learn to understand you. You have to learn new ways of doing old things, and who you can and cannot trust with certain confidences. In the process you may get a bit burned, so rather be cautious at first.

I don't believe anyone can really have even begun to settle into a new place before six months. It takes this long just to determine your new routine, and then, slowly to begin to feel human again. They say routine is a good thing for babies. Well, it is good for big people too, and as soon as you have begun to follow a semblance of one, you will find your life feels more secure and manageable.

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