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We are about to move from a place I believe to be as close to paradise as can be, to somewhere with far less redeeming qualities. And so, I thought it appropriate to focus on the best ways to adapt to new situations.
I truly believe that life is what one makes of it, and if one's attitude is wrong, one is likely to land up being extremely unhappy, and vice versa of course. A close family member of ours left for Australia over ten years ago, and never looked back. She and her husband become Australian, picked up the language, and brought up a family there. They are very happy, and fit in well with the people there. I still remember their policy when they were about to leave, and have applied it to my life since then (and I have also moved a lot) - and it certainly appears to work. It is simple. They went to Australia, not as South Africans looking for a little South African community in Australia where they would all sit together, eating South African food and talking bout the good old days in Africa. In short, what we called "When we's" (ie when we lived in SA, we.....). Instead, they went to become Australian. They sought Australian friends, and made a concerted effort never to compare Australia unfavorably with South Africa. Most people have bad things to say about their own countries, but they feel offended when others say them. I think, constantly harping about what you miss about your previous home, not only keeps you living in the past, but also alienates the very people who might have befriended you. You are the stranger who has to fit into the new environment. Therefore, you need to make it easy for the people who already live there and have friends and a life there, to like you. Constantly talking of how you miss your old home is not a great way to make new friends. I also believe that if you keep a door open, by leaving a sum of money in your old bank account, or by renting your house because you will one day live there again, is probably also not wise from a psychological perspective. By retaining a foot in the door of your old home, you are, in effect, telling yourself that if things don't work out, you can always go back. This is fine for one day when you return, but it is also a recipe for disaster if you want to be happy in your new home. Why would one want to make new friends if one feels one has enough in the old town? Why invest in a new church, committees, groups, if your energies are still being used up on those you have left behind? Why use up valuable crying energy on making friends in a place you didn't want to come to in the first place? Go To Page: 1 2
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