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Who, Exactly, Is the Expert?

© Bronwen Schoombie

I know of many people who are where they are today because they made mistakes, and then learned from these. They have not just learned from their successes. They have learned from their failures, and now make their money by helping others to side-step the pits they fell into.

Therefore, when you are a therapist in therapy, never set yourself up as the expert. The person sitting in front of you knows way more than you about their own life, how they have solved some problems, and learned from some failures. The person in front of you is the expert – you are merely there to guide him or her, and help them to discover their own unique solution to their own unique problem – about which only they are the complete expert.

Then, when the person has found a solution, they can then become helpers or consultants, helping other helpers to help those in similar positions.

Why do you think alcoholics Anonymous is so fantastically successful? And the Internet sites which help people in the same boat - those who are struggling with children with Rett Syndrome, those desperately trying to cope with MS have made such a difference in so many lives? People know that other sufferers identify far better with their suffering, and this gives them a sense of belonging, and the belief that they do not have to struggle on alone. (Do read "Real People, Real Stories: How the Internet is Touching Lives, brough out recently by Suite101.com).

A psychologist, therapist, counselor can also provide fantastic support, but they need to get off the ivory tower, and take more time to allow the client more ownership over their own problem. Help clients to help themselves, by helping them to discover the strength within themselves.

Stop being the expert, and come into each therapy session with the need to find out more about this person sitting in front of you, with the need, not to analyse, but to know more, not to give answers but to ask questions. Your client needs to find their own unique solution to their own unique problem. They are the expert. You are merely the catalyst.