INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

This works well with people in the same environment, but can be extremely frustrating for a newcomer who has no idea what the jargon means. Be careful, and sensitive in your use of it.

5. Speed

Often, because we repeat certain phrases so often, we say them far too quickly for anyone to understand them. Most people I know tend to do this with their own names. For example, a friend of mine's little sister asked her how to spell her name. She was most upset when she saw that her brand new school suitcase now sported the letters "H-E-H-E-H-E-R", as her sister was trying to write "Heather" on it for her.

Always remain aware that the recipient is not as familiar with the information as you are. Therefore speak clearly and slowly. Should you forget to do so, and the person requests you to repeat yourself, give them the benefit of the doubt that you may not have enunciated yourself clearly. Too often we become irritated at the apparent stupidity of the recipient of our message, when in fact, we are the ones to blame.

6. Interruption

Many people interrupt others as an indication that they understand what is being said and are trying to convey their feeling of being "one with" the other. The trouble is, though, if one is talking, they usually do not like to be interrupted, and appreciate being allowed to complete their line of thought. Interruptions may even be interpreted as the listener attempting to prove his superior knowledge about the issue at hand. Be careful!

You as a counselor, can aid your clients in more effective communication by helping them to improve their empathic skills.

Empathy is being able to:

a) Climb inside another's world, in order to gain a feeling of what his world is like, and to look at the outer world through his perspective or frame of reference and, if possible to b) Communicate this understanding in a way that shows they have some understanding of their client's feelings and the experiences and behaviors to which these feelings relate.

Ways in which one can Improve empathy include:

a) Giving oneself time to think

Rather than jumping in, expecting to know exactly what it is the person you are communicating with is asking, give him a chance to elaborate his request fully

b) Empathy of tone and manner

Teach your client to communicate in a friendly manner, which comes across and polite and pleasant. Many

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