As a counselor you need specifics, and a vague concept, like communication, seems to say a lot, but actually gives you very little to go on. However, let me digress a bit, and talk a bit about communication.
Communication cannot work unless the person who is sending the message sends it so that the receiver receives it. This seems obvious, but is not. How many times has a husband looked at his wife with a completely blank expression when she asks if he is ready for the dinner date she told him about weeks ago? And how many people actually hear the string of words volleyed at them in anger? All they really "hear" in such situations is the body language - "(s)he is angry with me!"
So the aim is to ensure that, if there is something important to discuss, it is done when the other party IS listening - not while the husband is watching sport on TV, or while the wife is trying to settle the children.
Communication is not always easy - as we hear in the song "We tried to talk it over, but words got in the way". And what about the many times we have felt we know what we want to say, but do not know how to say it? Many authors are capable of sending messages, which the reader is able to correctly decipher. Unfortunately this takes a lot of work, and usually much rewriting. The spoken word, by virtue of its nature, cannot be as exact.
The art of communication involves sending a message which contains sufficient information for the recipient to understand it, but not too much. Take for example, a person dictating an address over the telephone. If dictating to an eight year old, saying "19 Rose street, that is R - O - S - E , new line" is fine. It is NOT OK to do this to a competent adult, and if a man gives too much information to his wife, he may be sending the subtle signal that he believes himself to be superior. Giving too little can be as frustrating for the recipient. A woman who asks her husband (who has never shown an interest in cooking) to please "Pick up some herbs for the chicken", is setting him up for disaster. When faced with the rows of little bottles, all with what looks to be dried green stuff, he will most likely feel rather useless, and the result can only be displeasing to both parties. A medical doctor can expect his colleagues to understand complicated medical terminology, but should only use such terminology when chatting with his wife, if he knows she understands what he is talking about. If she does, however, explaining in detail what a tonsillectomy is degrading to her.
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