Coping with Suicide

The following morning there was no phone call. As Jeff sometimes slept in I did not become overly concerned until about 1 p.m. Then I contacted the girl he lived with and asked for him. "Jeff's not here", was her response, "he has gone to play pool with Don, but he is picking up my daughter from school and will be here by 3 at the latest. I'll have him call you."

Instantly the hairs on the back of my neck were on alert, but not wanting to alarm her, I thanked her and hung up. Jeff had not played pool with Don for months...in fact he had not been anywhere in months.

Within ten minutes I called her back and asked her to check with Don, and let her know how concerned I was. Within minutes she called me back. Jeff was not with Don...in fact it had been weeks since Don had heard from him. "Call the police" I urged her. "I can't do that, Jeff is driving without a license and will be furious if he is stopped by the police. He has never failed to pick up my daughter when he has promised...let's wait until 3."

When the phone rang shortly before 3 I knew, deep in my gut that it would not be good news. Her daughter had phoned, and Jeff had not shown up. Still she did not want to call the police, but had no way to look for him, so I picked her up. "Go to the river she said" referring to the spot where he had jumped in before. Instead, recalling the clues Jeff had given me I unerringly drove to the city dock. It was a horrible snowing windy day and as I pulled to the end of the dock, I saw the van...drivers door open and engine running. I breathed a silent sigh of relief...we were in time.

As soon as the car stopped we were out, calling for him. Then I noticed one set of footprints in the snow going to the edge of the dock. That was enough for me. I ran to a nearby dive shop and asked the man to call the police. We were suddenly surrounded by emergency vehicles of every kind, and curiosity seekers began to gather. As we saw two divers jump into the water, and an ambulance back up to the edge of the dock, we were placed in a police cruiser and moved to where we could not see the events taking place. Then the ambulance left, siren screaming. We clung together in the car, hoping that the siren meant he was alive.

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