November: Thanksgiving, this is no Iraq commentary

Here is my promised commentary on how the sports media does football...

Back around the seven week of the NFL season a headline on MSN caught my attention: "Dolphins break into top spot." (For the power rankings now, go to "http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/powerranki...".) The last time I can recollect that happening was back in the early 70s. The comment next to the ranking said that a 2-game lead in the AFC East, they had some room to relax while their quarterback's broken thumb healed. Interesting, and could bode well for Miami's Super Bowl chances (despite the fact that they are no longer ranked first): since football has this way of drawing on the legendary, consider another time this team lost a quarterback for the rest of the season (1972, that is), then this quarterback came around in the AFC championship game to pull it out, winning Supe Bowl 7 two weeks later.

What was even more interesting was some of the other commentary--and a reminder that nothing has changed in the nature of commentary by those who cover the league. Consider this on the Raiders (hey, when did they move back to Oakland?): "It says here that the Raiders will bounce back against the Chargers next week." The phrase "it says here" must, it seems, be used at least once in football commentary every week, for about thirty years. On the Broncos, whose loss to Miami allowed the Dolphins to take the top spot, it says, "Denver has to be kicking itself a little." Another stock phrase. Another one, on the Colts: "Colts offense has been struggling a little. But at least Indy knows it can win without great offense." So then what's the point of even mentioning it? And, the Patriots "need to find a running game." I guess they left it at last years Super Bowl. And the KC Chiefs? "Go figure, Chiefs lose and they still move up in the rankings." But that's okay, because when Hank Schramm caoched them, they'd win and go down in the rankings. Honest! And on the Baltimore Ravens: "A penalty is a penalty whether it happens with ten minutes left or one minute left." and local legend Edgar Allen Poe has a word for that jibe, too: "Nevermore!" Then you have all those comments to the effect that "without so-and-so, Such-and-such is not a playoff team;" that a team should dump its coach or its owner (How does a team dump its owner?), that a team "gambled and lost," or "gambled and won", "a win is a win," etc. Yep, nothing has changed in football commentary over 30 years, and not much has changed in the league either: the Bengals are still in last place!

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