Tough Guys

I'm not generally a big fan of this whole blogging phenomenon, but I recently discovered this blog written by a bouncer at two New York City "mega clubs." Inspired by his entertaining and usually intelligent entries, it's occurred to me that quite a few martial arts students, possibly including some of you reading this, are into the arts to become a "tough guy." You don't want to take any sh*t from people, and you want to be the "man" - the guy who goes around enforcing what he thinks is justice, but is in reality his own selfish desires. Possibly you think doing so will garner you a "posse" and a score you a lot of sex with hot girls. (It won't, in case you had to ask.)

If this is you, I'll hazard a guess that you're probably a male between the ages of 15 and 25. I also bet that you come from a reasonably comfortable background: maybe your parents aren't on the boards of various Fortune 500 companies, but you probably grew up in a nice grassy community and didn't have to worry about how to pay for college. You've probably never knowingly met a truly "tough guy" before, and you've never even seen, much less been involved in, a truly violent event. (Fights during recess don't count, I don't care how bad you think you were/are in high school.)

How do I know this? Well, I was once one of those naive, stupid, ignorant guys from an upper middle-class suburb, although mostly I started training in the martial arts was because I just thought they were neat. At any rate, in the years since then, I've seen enough to meet actual tough guys. I've also acquired a good idea of what a good fighter is, how he thinks and what it takes to become one, whether through a dojo, a boxing gym, or the school of hard knocks.

• Patience. Unless you're a naturally gifted athlete (and even if you are), acquiring the attributes and skills needed to be a good fighter is difficult work. First you need to develop the ability to honestly assess yourself - to look at yourself from an outsider's point of view. Then, if you happen to be intelligent, it's frustrating - you know what you should be doing, but you can't seem to get your body to do it. If you're not so intelligent, you spend a lot of trial-and-error time figuring out what you should be doing. Hopefully by the time you understand this, your body does as well.
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