Church Football
Nov 8, 2000 -
© (From the internet, e-mail; author unknown)
A humorous look at some football terms and how they might apply to the church service. Does anything sound familiar?
The photo you see here was taken in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Interesting placement of the sign by the authorities, no?
| Quarterback Sneak | Church members quietly leaving during the invitation. |
| Draw Play | What many children do with the bulletin during worship. |
| Halftime | The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave. |
| Benchwarmer | Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit. |
| Backfield-in-Motion | Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service. |
| Staying in the Pocket | What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work. |
| Two-minute Warning | The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings. |
| Instant Replay | The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations. |
| Sudden Death | What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime". |
| Trap | You're called on to pray and are asleep. |
| End Run | Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member. |
| Flex Defense | The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life. |
| Halfback Option | The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service. |
| Blitz | The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer. |
Read the Arena Football League topic right here on Suite 101!
The copyright of the article Church Football in Lutheranism is owned by (From the internet, e-mail; author unknown). Permission to republish Church Football in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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