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Gout and Lutherans

© John L. Hoh, Jr.

Recently, a friend of mine came down with gout. Well, not really. See, his parish felt that, since his tenth anniversary in the ministry was coming up, they would assign him an affliction "often linked to the elite rich and over-indulgent in society." Thus is ministry in the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod (WELS).

But on further consideration, isn't it possible for Lutherans to suffer from gout? Think of all those potlucks--a rich array of foods from every member! A veritable feast of Jell-O salads, casseroles, and hot dishes! A plethora of noodles, cream of whatever soup bases, and ground hamburger!

Of course, what Lutheran doesn't wash it down with a healthy dose of coffee? I had one seminary professor that mused that coffee might be a secular sacrament in the Lutheran church. I wonder what the rite of consecration looks like? Or would it be the rite of percolation?

Ah, Jell-O! A staple at almost every Lutheran event. In fact, I remember reading an article in The Lutheran back in 1989 about Jell-O and that a woman might not be truly Lutheran if she couldn't make a Jell-O mold. (Before I go on, let me state, for the record, that Jell-O is the registered trademark of whatever company manufactures and markets the Jell-O brand of gelatin and has no legal or binding connection with the Lutheran church.) Now, aside from the fact that the statement appears sexist (can't men be judged likewise?), it certainly states the importance of the wiggly stuff we seem to enjoy.

One anecdote about Jell-O. My home congregation sponsored a missionary from India as he completed seminary training. Having never seen Jell-O before, he shouted, "It's alive!" Fortunately, his doctrine and his Jell-O appreciation were commendable by the time he finished his seminary studies and returned to India. Last I heard, he moonlighted as a Jell-O importer in India!

Another rich food popular among the Norwegian Lutherans is lutefisk and lefse. Personally, I've never had lutefisk. The closest I've been to lutefisk is hearing my pastor tell me about helping prepare it at Bethany College. Needless to say, he never wanted to try it after working with it all day. I have had lefse, however, and love it enough that I can shamelessly beg for it in this column (please e-mail for my mailing address and I'll gladly provide it).

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