You Know You Might Be Lutheran if... - Page 3
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...you carry silverware in your pocket to church just in case there's a potluck.
...you have an uncontollable urge to sit in the back of any room.
... P.M.S. is defined as "Post Merger Syndrome."
...your house is a mess because you're "saved by Grace," not by works.
...the doilies underneath the Thanksgiving flowers make nice snowflakes at Christmas.
...you think the communion wafers are too spicy.
...your mother reminds you often that she wishes you'd studied the organ.
... you dress up as your favorite reformer for Halloween.
...your mother could give any Jewish mother a run for the money in the guilt department.
...you think lime Jell-O with cottage cheese and pineapple is a gourmet salad.
...you think that an ELCA Lutheran bride and an LCMS groom make for a "mixed marriage." (or any other two synods not in fellowship.)
...Folgers has you on their Christmas list.
...your congregation's first two operating rules are "Don't change" and "Don't spend."
...your LCMS pastor refers to St. Louis as "the holy city." (WELS=Milwaukee; ELCA=Chicago; ELS=Mankato; etc.)
...at Thanksgiving you serve lutefisk and try to convince your kids it's really a turkey.
...you're at an evangelistic rally and you actually manage to raise your hands waist high.
...the only mealtime prayer you know is "Come Lord Jesus."
...you and your family of six squeeze into the last pew along with the 140 members already sitting there.
...you're 57 years old and your parents still won't let you date a Catholic.
...at the close of a memo it states "Peace be with you" and you respond "and also with you."
...you can't get into heaven without a casserole.
...you notice the Kool Aid stock shoots up during the Vacation Bible School season.
...you wonder why bread and wine are used for Communion instead of coffee and donuts.
...you are referred to as the frozen chosen!
...Commandment #11--If it's never been done that way before, don't do it.
...you consider lottery tickets a serious investment.
...you make your hotdishes with cream of mushroom soup and your salads with Jell-O.
...you sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down.
...a line item in the trustee's budget is "coffee maker maintenance."
...you think tuna hotdish is a gourmet meal.
...your idea of an affirmation is "This is most certainly true."
...you feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
...it's 110 degrees outside and you still have coffee after services.
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