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Macho Women

© Karyn Moran Holton

One of my friends recently had a baby. I didn't get to see him (or the new mommy) until he was a few weeks old. When I finally did get to see them, I of course asked about her birth and how everything went. The first thing she told me was his birth weight. The second thing she told me was, "And I didn't have any drugs! Totally natural!" She didn't even mention how long she was in labor or whether her husband even made it into the delivery room on time.

Now kids, I don't want to sound preachy, but I cannot abide females who are smug about their apparent lack of sensory neurons. Childbirth hurts. Period. Labor is not a sensation that I would put high on my list of things I want to dwell on when my life does the whole "flash-before-my-eyes" thing before I die. Don't get me wrong. I have four children, and although I would crawl through lemon juice without my skin for them, I have never "enjoyed" labor pains or any of the associated birthing sensations. For me, it was something to get through in order to have my babies in my arms, rather than in my belly.

Okay, before you guys out there start dressing up a mannequin to burn me in effigy due to my apparent lack of sympathy for the male point of view, I have to say that I know that this is a fem-oriented article. My apologies, but I do actually have a point:

Why do most women seem to feel that enduring pain is a virtue?

We all know the "typical" male stereotype of stoicism: Stiff upper lip, show no emotion, crying is for girls, blah...blah...blah. Anyone who's watched Oprah or even the odd rerun of Phil Donahue is aware that men are trying desperately to overcome hundreds of years of conditioning and get in touch with the emotions that they are now "allowed" to have. That's great! Fantastic! Somebody pop in Steel Magnolias and pass the Kleenex!

But what about us girls? Why is no one addressing the problem (yes, it is a problem!) of women feeling that they must not admit they are in pain?

My friend with the recent family addition is not the exception to the rule. Heck, she could be the poster child. I have noticed that women who have children fall into two very distinct categories: Those who have had medication with childbirth and those who have not. This issue seems bigger than breast vs. bottle or even circumcision vs. not.

The copyright of the article Macho Women in Lupus is owned by Karyn Moran Holton. Permission to republish Macho Women in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.