Famous Novelists Take on the Tube

"A travelcard, my precious, just what Gollum wants, a tourist with a travelcard"

And from out of the dark shadows emerged Gollum. He had spent so long in the deep dark tunnels that he had become like a pale, twisted root full of evil etc. etc.

300 pages and several stupid poems later

... but it was not a ring-wraith - it was a creature of fable that few have seen and fewer still believe in - a transport policeman.

"Cripes, the filth" gasped Gollum, dropping the travelcard, and having away on his toes, which like him were pale, twisted long and full of evil etc etc

Great Destinations
by Charles Dickens
(Note: Mr Dickens was paid by the word)

And so, after each and every one of the minutes that make up a full three quarters of one hour had gone, one by one, never to be seen again, along as it were the great dim platform and onto the rails and down the tunnel to the next station, whispering in the darkness, Plip looked up and was rewarded with the sight of a distant light, an advancing luminance that spoke a message of hope, advancing - oh so slowly - to where he stood, a small sapling in a busy forest, and yet a forest that twitched and moved as one, stirring at the faint light.

It was a train; and at this time of night it was more than a train; it was a means of escape, a safe path back to the warm hearth of Mrs. Collywobble, away from the miasma of the city, a bright convivial, bouncing, hyperbolic, pneumatically braked, electrically motivated phenomenon, a voice in the wilderness, a benign Charon with a pleasure-steamer upon the river Styx, a friend in a world filled with strangers.

And it was only as the train reached the station platform he read the words spelled out in letter of golden light on the brute metal face of the train. A simple statement, less than a sentence, less than a phrase. Three words only that were to dash his hopes in a fraction of a moment - Not In Service.

The famous five - mind the doors
by Enid Blyton

"Alroit, alroit" said the fat red faced ticket inspector. "You'm be travellin beout tickuts, and no mistake. I'ull tellee what oimbe going to dee..."

"Oh Dick",

Go To Page: 1 2 3