Fuzzy Logic

Keep in mind as I relate this tale that I am not formally trained in computers. I am not an amateur geek by training or desire. I simply do what I need to do to keep my computers up and running mostly because I can't afford to pay a witchdoctor to take care of them for me. I bought a used computer (from a large reseller) on Ebay recently with the thought in mind that it would replace our "little" computer and increase my productivity.

The result: I spent the past two weekends swearing at it trying to manhandle its configuration and that of our other computer which before played quite nicely over our little home network with our old computer.

See, this is why I love dogs. If a dog does something wrong, you can easily see what it was. Cause and effect are clearly demarcated. Cause: You forget to crate the dog. Effect: Your Gucci's are now chew toys. Cause: You don't walk the dog when he gives you THE LOOK. Effect: You take out stock in Bounty paper towels.

Computers aren't that easy. I fought and fought and FOUGHT with our library computer (the former "big" computer) and it constantly gave me errors it never had before. It refused to upgrade with the upgrade software. It didn't want its virus program back. And I had no idea WHY it wouldn't work.

With a dog, you have lots of clues. It's easy to see why a dog won't work. It's tired, it's bored, it's hungry. You wave a treat at it, that can usually regain its interest. Computers are not that easy.

I ended up having to reformat the hard drive. Which was a pain in the....nether regions.

With my dogs, I want them to do something, I wave a cookie in their face. They usually at least attempt to feign interest. Waving a cookie in front of your computer monitor gets you nowhere. The cookies they like aren't in the least bit tempting to my pack.

Computers don't respond to wheedling, commands, begging, pleading, or bribery.

Dogs do. Usually.

Computers have a mind of their own and ignore you.

Well, so do dogs, but wave a cookie at them and usually you can change that. (See the trend here?)

Clicking at a stubborn computer usually doesn't achieve what you want. Clicking at a stubborn dog can quickly result in positive behavior modification.

You don't have to download drivers for dogs. They are plug and play; they learn as they go. You can easily overcome system incompatibility. You can give them humane corrections to modify behaviors. Computers will just ignore you.

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