Friendship Hardships

We've all experienced it. The doomful feelings of losing a close friend. But can losing a friend be avoided? How do you know who to cut loose and who to fight for?

I can't tell you who to cut loose or not. But what I can tell you are the warning signs that a friendship is at stake.

1. If your friend breaks plans, it's okay to ask what happened. Don't jump down his or her throat until you know all the details. But do come forward with your feelings.

2. If your friend seems distant, ask what's wrong. You are not infringing on his or her privacy by asking what's up. You are being a good friend by showing concern. Problems arise when you perist and the friend does not want to open up. In that case, assess the problem to the best of your ability. Let the friend know you are there for them.

3. If your friend starts being snappy, you may have done something to annoy that friend in the past. Most people don't discuss issues as they arise, but do it "after the fact". Again, confront your friend. You may find out that the friend isn't mad at you at all, but has some other problems.

4. If your friend shows symptoms of serious problems (depression, suicide, etc.) offer them your support. You should know, however, that some problems are out of your reach. Professional help may be needed. You can't force the friend to do anything, but you can reassure them that some problems you cannot solve for them, although you'll be there to listen.

5. Confront, confront, confront. A true friend can't get mad at you for asking if something is wrong. They may be reluctant to talk to you, but by maintaining open and honest lines of communication, a friendship can be saved.

Of course there are the situations when a friendship should not be saved. Unhealthy friendships can leave you tense, depressed, anxious, physically hurt or sick. Again, assess the situation. Is a friend who continuously hurts you and neglects your feelings a real friend? You decide.

The most important factor to consider when things are on the rocks with a friend is what they are going through. Never jump down their back. Get the full story first.

Emerson once said, "A true friend is well reckoned a masterpiece of nature." This is very true, for a true friend. True friends are hard to find, but they do exist. Evaluate the people in your life. Most of them are worth fighting for.

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