The Company You Keep

The people in our lives say a lot about who we are, and who we want to become. That's why choosing a positive support system of friends is crucial.

But we didn't know that when we picked many of our friends. Many of us sort of "fell" into the people we got along with well.

But when it comes down to it - do you have people in your life that you can really count on?

New studies are providing strong evidence that female friendships are vital to one's health and may prolong our lives. Knowing that, it seems only natural to focus on our friendships.

Yes, you're busy. Yes, you have a lot going on. Yes, romantic relationships are hard enough to find and maintain. But if you're anything like me, there's more to you than your significant other or your career. There's you! And a good way to improve you and have fun in life is to make good friends.

But the relationships with family, kids and spouses can't and shouldn't take the place of friendship, according to Sandy Sheehy. She is the author of "Connecting: The Enduring Power of Female Friendship". Sheehy's book focuses around the premise that friendship plays a vital role in society. Its power comes from the fact that friendship is voluntary, unlike family ties that can be broken.

Personal Insight

I recently spoke to a friend who was going through friendship changes much like I have been.

I said to her, "I thought you were supposed to just have the people in your life from childhood on."

"No way," she said, explaining how she was always a drifter, a part of different cliques. Her zest for life amazed me. So I've set out on a search to find some ways that I can meet new people and lasting friends in my life.

Finding Friends

Simply put, the best way to meet new people is to put yourself into new social situations. Join that book club, take up a new sport, or hook on to a friend's hobby with him or her. That way, you're meeting others and maintaining a friendship.

Don't rely completely on the Internet, although it is a usable resource for meeting and connecting with others.

Maintenace

Much like your car needs an oil change, your relationships with friends need maintenance. If you're lucky enough to have some people in your life that you know you want around forever, don't let that person go. The best way I've found to keep the "unromantic spark" alive is to surprise your friends. And how easy is it?

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