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Keep Away!!

© Kathi Mitchell

One of us is having a serious malfunction. Little Miss Tiffany Marie is really having a problem. Ever since I had to go to the hospital for week, she has been very possessive. She does not want me out of her sight even for a second. I understand the motivation behind this. It obviously has to do with separation anxiety and her terror of losing me again.

Unfortunately, the other kids are not as understanding as Mom is. They have quickly gotten irritated with her attempts to keep me all to herself. They want equal time and attention, they missed me too. It has become a full-time quarrel. Tiffany snaps and snarls like a wild thing every time any of the others get within 10 feet of me, in spite of my repeated corrections. Initially, Sunny was fairly accepting of her possessiveness. He would simply wait until Tiffany dozed off or got involved with a chewy or some other distraction, and would take the opportunity to snuggle and cuddle with Mom while sissy was not paying attention. His patience has worn somewhat thin, however. He wants to sleep with me and have his cuddle time just like always and he is tired of Tiffany trying to run him off.

Tiffany has always been my timid, shy baby. She is a cuddlier and a hold-me-baby by nature. It is entirely out of character for her to be aggressive and even more unlike her to steadfastly ignore my correcting her. Historically, any correction or discipline by Mom has broken her heart. She has always been crushed when I corrected her, certainly, she has never before refused to acknowledge what I have told her to do or not to do. This has presented something of a dilemma for me. I understand the fear that has prompted this behavior in her and I do not want to upset her further, but at the same time, I cannot sacrifice the needs of the others either.

At this point in time, we are making very slow progress. She has slowly come to accept Sunny's right to Mom's love and attention, completely if grudgingly. She still does not like it but she appears to have reached the conclusion that it is going to be that way whether she likes it or not. Sunny, after all, has been here as long as she has and he is her brother. The babies are another matter altogether. Tiffany goes completely ballistic ever time one of the comes into the same room with me. No amount of scolding or other discipline seems to have any effect at all.