Tree's a Crowd

Did you ever wonder how politicians and other public figures relax when they’re out of the spotlight? Neither did I - at least, not until I came across a recent story about Sinn Fein leader, Gerry Adams.

Many of you will be familiar with Gerry Adams as a bearded, bespectacled figure who never misses an opportunity to scold Tony Blair for what the Sinn Fein leader sees as the British Prime Minister’s failure to implement the Good Friday Agreement. But I’ll bet you don’t know what Gerry does when the Blair-baiting stops and it’s time to relax away from the cameras and the microphones.

He hugs trees.

Now, don’t get me wrong: if the bloke wants to hug trees, that’s perfectly all right by me. After all, it’s not so long ago that the newspapers were filled with stories about Prince Charles and his penchant for chatting to his potted geraniums.

And before anyone starts sniggering at the Sinn Fein leader or the Prince of Wales, I should point out that plants, at least, are living, breathing organisms. Which of you, on the other hand, can honestly say that you have never engaged in conversation with an inanimate object? You know what I mean: the hanging basket that that introduces itself unexpectedly to your forehead; the carelessly abandoned Dinky car that leaves its imprint on the sole of your foot first thing in the morning; or the rake that lies in the long grass, just waiting for an opportunity to pop up and say hello.

In actual fact, as I was saying to the coffee table just the other day, this tree-hugging business could have something to recommend it. Gerry Adams certainly thinks so; he finds it a great way to relieve stress. And it could have other benefits, besides. For instance, who’s to say that if I nip outside every couple of days to give the apple tree a quick squeeze, it won’t produce a few extra apples come autumn time?

And the coffee table didn’t argue the point. (Mind you, only that morning I had given it a tongue-lashing for cracking me on the shins, so perhaps it was still in a huff.)

But when I thought about it further, I came to the conclusion that hugging the apple tree might not be such a good idea after all. The trouble is, I just know the pear tree would fly into a raging sulk the moment I put my arms around the apple tree, (you know what pear trees are like.)

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