Outing: Socially Responsible or Socially Reprehensible? Part II
This article is a continuation of last month’s discussion of “outing.”
WHAT ARE THE ARGUMENTS AGAINST OUTING?
People oppose outing for a variety of reasons.
The first argument is that outing constitutes a violation, a form of “psychic rape.” Much as in physical rape, when the victim’s wishes are disregarded in favor of the perpetrator’s agenda, people who are outed have no choice in the matter. Their right to control information they consider deeply private is ripped away, often leaving them vulnerable to ridicule, abuse, and discrimination.
Another argument against outing is that it makes being gay seem like something shameful or scandalous. As discussed in last month’s article, both anti-gay and gay rights activists have a history of using outing to deliberately humiliate closeted gays and/or their families. On the surface, this kind of outing can be gratifying. (I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get an extraordinary amount of pleasure out of watching the ultra-conservative Phyllis Schlafly hem, haw, and backtrack like mad after her son was outed.)
But what is the real message here? It’s an old one, one most of us ingested for breakfast along with Rice Krispies and orange juice. The message is that homosexuality is something to be embarrassed about. The message is that having a gay child is a tragedy (having a gay child who gets caught is even worse!), or that being gay is something which must be kept hidden at all costs.
A final argument against outing is that it doesn’t work. One argument for outing is that the lesbigay community needs greater visibility and more celebrity role models. But think about your role models in the lesbian community. Do I hear any votes for Martina Navratilova? Ellen DeGeneres? kd Lang? Melissa Etheridge?
Now, how many votes for Lily Tomlin? Jodie Foster?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people who are dragged kicking and screaming from the closet do not become powerful voices for the lesbigay community. Often, they do the community more harm than good, implying by silence or repeated denials that their sexual orientation is a source of great shame to them.
Furthermore, the heterosexual community is generally very reluctant to believe that celebrities they have embraced—perhaps even turned into sex symbols—are lesbian, gay, or bisexual. (My mother still has trouble believing that Liberace was gay.) Thus outing is perceived as an attempt by those “militant” homosexuals to “smear” the reputation of a “good” person. However you look at it, we’re the bad guys.
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