Who Needs a Durable Power of Attorney? Hint: You Do

In the winter of 1983, Sharon Kowalski was driving her niece home from school when a drunk driver struck her car. Sharon suffered head and neck trauma that left her brain-damaged and quadriplegic.

When Sharon's lover of four years, Karen Thompson, rushed to the hospital, she learned Sharon's parents did not want her involved in Sharon's care. A local court appointed Sharon's father as Sharon's legal guardian, and he obtained a restraining order against Karen. For three and a half years-from August 1985 through January 1989-Karen was not allowed to see her lover at all.

After a lengthy court fight, Sharon's father stepped down as guardian, and Karen Thompson was once again allowed to see her lover; however, the court still would not grant her the right to help make decisions about Sharon's care. It was not until 1991, nearly eight years after the accident, that a Minnesota appeals court finally granted guardianship to Karen, calling her and Sharon "a family of affinity."

Unfortunately, the Kowalski case was unique only because it did, eventually, have a happy ending. All too often, lesbians and gay men find themselves and their wishes completely disregarded when a lover is seriously ill or injured.

If you are involved in a relationship with a same-sex partner, how can you make sure you have a say in your partner's care-and she in yours-should tragedy strike? One way is to complete a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Decisions. This is a legal document that allows you to appoint a person of your choosing-an agent or proxy-to make healthcare decisions for you if a time should come when you can no longer make decisions for yourself. (Please note that a DPOA gives your proxy the right to make decisions ONLY when you cannot. Awake and coherent, you still have the absolute right to make all decisions regarding your own health care.)

In most states, a Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) is completed as part of an Advance Directive. An Advance Directive is a document that allows you to state preferences about the health care you would want to receive if you became incapacitated or unable to make your wishes known.

Most hospitals offer free Advance Directive forms. You can also download an Advance Directive form from the internet at http://www.choices.org/ad.htm

Read the directions carefully, and make sure to get the document witnessed and notarized in accordance with your state's laws.

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