For Teens: How to Come Out to Your Mom and Dad

state's child protection agency. To find the number, look in the phone book or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

If you are injured, go to an emergency room. Not only will this document in the injuries in case you decide to press charges, most hospitals have social workers who can help you find a safe place to go.

Call a crisis line. Check the listings in the yellow pages under "Crisis Intervention Services." If you contact one agency that is not helpful, don't give up! Try another agency instead.

If all else fails, you may have to backtrack. Honesty is not always the best policy. If your parents are abusive and you have nowhere else to go, you may choose to backtrack by saying something like, "I thought I was a lesbian, but I guess it was just a phase." Be very clear in your own mind that these are just words you are saying to keep yourself safe in a bad situation. They do not change your inner reality or lessen your worth as an LBGT person.

IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO COME OUT TO YOUR PARENTS

Don't allow yourself to be guilt-tripped. You and your situation are unique. No one else knows exactly what you're going through or what factors have gone into your decision. If someone tries to force you to come out when you're not ready or don't think it would be safe, tell them to shove it.

Get support. You don't have to be out to your parents, but it is important to get support from somewhere. Friends, brothers, sisters, teachers, counselors, and support groups may all be excellent sources of information and encouragement.

Be careful your actions don't speak for you. If you've decided not to come out to your parents, don't let your actions speak for you. For instance, don't "accidentally" leave LBGT reading material lying around or kiss your partner on the lips where your parents are likely to see you. Coming out this way is traumatic for everyone involved and should be avoided.

Coming out to parents can be frightening. It's certainly not the right choice for every LBGT teen. However, if your parents are basically loving and supportive, you should consider talking to them openly and honestly about your sexual orientation. Given a little time to work through their initial reactions, they might just become your strongest allies.