Somehow, our relationship survived intact, but there are easier and better ways to get through "the talk." Here are some ideas.
BEFORE THE TALK
Decide whether you want to come out to your parents at all. Yes, coming out to your parents is optional, not mandatory. If your parents have a history of being loving and supportive, they will probably stand by you now. But if they have a history of being hostile, accusing, or abusive, they probably will not deal well with your disclosure. If your physical or emotional safety is placed in jeopardy by coming out to your parents, don't do it.
Plan ahead and prepare yourself. Get support from trusted friends. Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. Arm yourself with the number of your local PFLAG chapter and LBGT books or brochures to give to your parents after you come out. Most important, work on becoming confident and proud of yourself as an LBGT person. The more comfortable you are with your sexuality, the more comfortable your parents will be.
Pick a time and place. Try to choose a time when you can be alone with your parents without interruptions. It's best to initiate the Talk in a private setting rather than a public one, so no one is embarrassed if the conversation becomes loud or emotional. (One exception to this rule: if you fear your parents may become violent but still wish to come out to them, do have the Talk in a public place-it's safer for you.)
DURING THE TALK
Spell it out. Double talk and guessing games are frustrating and disrespectful. It is much better to say something simple and honest like, "Mom, Dad, there's something important about me that I'd like to tell you. I'm a lesbian."
Come out from a position of strength. Let your parents know that you don't see your sexual orientation as a flaw or a tragedy. You might say something like, "It's just part of who I am, like having brown hair or being good at math."
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