A Lestrian View of Elections in the USA

Unless you’re a Lestrian with his head buried in the sand, I’m certain that there isn’t one of you who hasn’t witnessed the ongoing battle for the Presidency of the United States of America.

Okay, cut the groans! Granted, I have no doubt that the British media are bombarding you with details, and I’m sure by now that you don’t really care who sits in the Oval office as long as they’ll shut up about it!

But pause a moment and spare a thought for little old me! I’m a Lestrian actually living in the USA who not only doesn’t get to vote, but whose television now shows just one channel – ‘Channel 4 Bush, Gore,’ and my normally relatively quiet evenings are filled with exclamations of “cheat, liar and fraud!” Just a few of the select expletives uttered by my outraged spouse.

I have a right to complain I think, and yet in all honesty – I’m loving it!! Daytime television has never been so exciting in the good old USA. Mind you, when you’ve faced soap operas whose characters have been impregnated with turkey basters (honest!) isn’t it any wonder that life has taken on new meaning??

If you’re like me, then you’ll have followed the recent election developments with disbelief and outright hilarity. I know that we Brit’s have a habit of making a joke of everything anyway, but come on! We haven’t even had to try at this one!

I would imagine that any American with the unfortunate name of ‘Chad’ is going through his own version of hell right now. I’m sure he’s been asked numerous times if he’s ‘dimpled, swinging, indented or possibly pregnant.’ Take note world, the new Chad on the block is the baddest dude around, and he’s coming after you!

Personal opinion aside, there are some aspects of this election that I feel it is my duty as a Brit to report. Therefore please allow me to share with you the ‘amusing moments’ that have occurred to date.

Well done to the person whose idea it was to adapt and change the official ‘Gore, Leiberman campaign sign to ‘Sore Loserman.’ Very ingenious.

The ‘Team Gore’ lawyers who actually managed to convince a judge to allow dimpled ballots.

The Florida Supreme Court who after questioning the Canvassing board regarding changing the rules midway through the recount, actually went one better and changed the law instead.

The Palm Beach County Canvassing Board who only a few weeks previous had denied some poor lady candidate with just an 11 vote deficit a recount. They stated that it was basically a waste if time because the vote difference wasn’t in single digits.

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