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Memorial Gardens

© Linda Mazar

It is difficult for children to cope with the death of a pet, parent, grandparent, friend, or acquaintance. They often cannot understand that the loved one is now gone and cannot return to see them again. They may sit through the funeral thinking the person is only sleeping or a "fake" pretending to be their loved one. They may ask many questions which are hard to answer to their satisfaction or they may withdraw into themselves and refuse to speak.

In any case, the loss of a loved one is a difficult time for families. Sometimes children feel left out as the adults in their lives deal with their own grief and feelings of loss. The kids may be left to mourn on their own or to gather misconceptions of the situation. At times like these, gardening can become a therapeutic activity for families. Spending time together while digging in a flower bed helps everyone to vent emotions and to come together, united in one cause. A meaningful project at such a time could be planting a garden in memory of loved ones who have passed on, a memorial garden to tend while remembering.

There are many ways to go about making a memorial garden. If it is for a pet and the pet in buried in the yard, a head stone could be made of a homemade concrete step stone, and then a few pretty plants could be planted at the site. If the pet had favorite plants or if the family has memories of the pet interacting with certain plants (such as the dog digging up the tulips every year or the cat who loved rolling in the catnip), these may be appropriate to plant there.

A memorial garden for family or friends might start with planting a tree which will grow tall or maybe one which will flower every spring. If a tree is not possible, perhaps a rose bush or other shrub could serve instead. Along with the tree or shrubs, perennial flowers are a nice addition as they come up every year and will carry the memory of the loved one on for many years.

If the loved one left behind a garden, taking cuttings, divisions, or collecting seed from those plants can be ways of taking a piece of their garden home with you to your memorial garden. If they had favorite flowers but left no garden (or perhaps their plants aren't hardy where you are), then a bed of plants that are similar could be your tribute to them. If none of these are possible, or you don't have enough plants, you can find varieties of many plants that have names appropriate to specific aspects of your loved one's personality or to a memorial garden in general.

The copyright of the article Memorial Gardens in Gardening with Children is owned by Linda Mazar. Permission to republish Memorial Gardens in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.