Ten Years in an Empty Orchestra Pit: A Relatively Sympathetic Observer's Guide to Karaoke--Pt. III
basketball gold medal in 1972, but many of the evening's spectators left the restaurant convinced that the fix was in (except, as Texans, most of them referred to it as the "fee-ax" being "ee-ann").
For those crooners who have yet to summon the guts to perform on stage, the karaoke world also features businesses that offer private rooms where rookies can learn the ropes and veterans can hone their skills. I think of them as the karaoke equivalent of batting cages. In Asia, it is not unusual for entire families or groups of friends to rent these rooms and sing and imbibe well into the night. They are less common in the states, but they can be found in most large metropolitan areas. At one such establishment I even saw a listing for "adult" karaoke tapes, where the lyrics were superimposed over pictures of female models in various stages of undress. I'm not sure exactly what the idea was, but I suppose it had something to do with the fact that you only need one hand to hold the microphone.
The other virtue of these rooms (or karaoke "boxes", as they're called) is that you can acquaint yourself with the surprisingly difficult task of singing while following lyrics on a television screen. Most people don't know their favorite songs nearly as well as they think they do. When you sing along with your Wings album, you may not realize that Paul McCartney is doing all the work for you. He keeps track of the lyrics and lets you know when to begin singing and when to stop. He maintains the proper pacing, and as long as you keep up with him, you run no risk of falling out of rhythm. But when you do the karaoke version of "Hi, Hi, Hi", Paul is nowhere to be found, so it's just you and the band, and if you don't know exactly when to start, the music leaves you behind, still standing at the station with a bootleg in your hand (whatever the hell that means). And the worst part is that the band keeps on playing and you're trying to catch up and the crowd starts snickering and suddenly you have a much greater appreciation for how Linda must have felt.
Any experienced karaoke singer will tell you that unless you know a song by heart, you should always keep your eyes on the monitor,
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