Coming out of a month in which events led to extra stress in my life, I have had difficulty sitting down and writing this article. A crisis to deal with kicks me into overdrive. It doesn't even have to be major. Actually, it can be a series or accumulation of little pressures or unexpected problems with which to deal. I find myself getting geared up so that when things are attended to, I still feel anxious and ready for action. If I am not actually rushing around to put out fires and save the day, I feel that I am forgetting something. And if I have gotten too drained in dealing with whatever it was, sometimes I crash, exhausted and depressed. When I should just be relieved that things have settled down, I may be bewildered at my own depression. What's going on?
It occurs to me that sometimes I may be like that bird feeder when I get geared up for dealing with things. In that state I may be "spilling" more psychic energy than is really being put to use. Maybe, then, I need to make adjustments to myself.
Later in the day, I read something about the importance of listening - to what is within us. It really is hard to listen when one is rushing around with an overwhelming list of things to take care of. I realize that exactly that is one of my problems. When there are pressures from the outside world, I rush into action, becoming almost robot-like, and forget to listen. In short, I become disconnected with my self. I can easily lose touch with my own body and become too tired. I forget that my self needs certain things, like some nurturing. I get short-tempered and might fall into feeling sorry for myself. But I'm not listening to that voice inside that tells me all that I have learned over the years. I'm falling back into old patterns with compulsive action and disconnect from my self.
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