Oops! Here I Go Again...

Coming out of a month in which events led to extra stress in my life, I have had difficulty sitting down and writing this article. A crisis to deal with kicks me into overdrive. It doesn't even have to be major. Actually, it can be a series or accumulation of little pressures or unexpected problems with which to deal. I find myself getting geared up so that when things are attended to, I still feel anxious and ready for action. If I am not actually rushing around to put out fires and save the day, I feel that I am forgetting something. And if I have gotten too drained in dealing with whatever it was, sometimes I crash, exhausted and depressed. When I should just be relieved that things have settled down, I may be bewildered at my own depression. What's going on?

A big winter storm has just brought the world to a halt where I live. I spent the day yesterday watching the snow fall and accumulate, keeping bird feeders filled, and enjoying the many birds that were flocking to them. By slowing down and taking to time to watch quietly (there were about a dozen other things on my "to do" list), I observed what was happening with one feeder - why it always seemed empty. The seed was actually mostly getting spilled rather than eaten. I made adjustments and then was able to enjoy seeing the bright cardinal eat and eat and eat. I may even have gotten a picture of him at close range if I had been quieter.

It occurs to me that sometimes I may be like that bird feeder when I get geared up for dealing with things. In that state I may be "spilling" more psychic energy than is really being put to use. Maybe, then, I need to make adjustments to myself.

Later in the day, I read something about the importance of listening - to what is within us. It really is hard to listen when one is rushing around with an overwhelming list of things to take care of. I realize that exactly that is one of my problems. When there are pressures from the outside world, I rush into action, becoming almost robot-like, and forget to listen. In short, I become disconnected with my self. I can easily lose touch with my own body and become too tired. I forget that my self needs certain things, like some nurturing. I get short-tempered and might fall into feeling sorry for myself. But I'm not listening to that voice inside that tells me all that I have learned over the years. I'm falling back into old patterns with compulsive action and disconnect from my self.

Go To Page: 1 2