The Hebrew word for milk is chalav. The word chalav is composed of two words, chal lev, which means "attached to the heart". In addition, the Aruch HaShulchan writes that milk affects the heart and character of the baby. (Yoreh Deah, 81:34) Nursing brings close the mother and child, but there comes a time to wean. While we certainly should not rush, keep in mind that weaning is a time of celebration, a milestone in your child's life on par with his first tooth, his first steps and his first word.
A Time to Wean
"The child grew and was weaned;
and Abraham made a great feast
on the day Isaac was weaned."
-- Genesis 21:8
Rashi writes that Isaac was weaned at the age of twenty-four months. Twenty-four months is considered to be the average length of time that a healthy child nurses. There are, however, many different opinions. Marilyn Tokayer writes in her book "Created in Wisdom" that the opinions vary from as early as ten months to as late as four years.
The most widely accepted opinion is that of the Aruch HaShulchan: at least twenty-four months, the maximum being four or five years. These guidelines apply to the mother, not the baby. In other words, the child should be permitted to wean whenever he is ready. Sometimes, for medical or emotional reasons, a mother is unable to continue nursing. In these cases, the above guidelines do not apply, and the mother should consult a Rabbi.
Pregnancy is a time when the Torah law permits a mother to wean her child prior to twenty-four months. In any case, she should not feel pressured to do so. Tehila Abramov writes in "Straight from the Heart" that both doctors and Torah law permit nursing while pregnant. In fact, many children wean themselves during the pregnancy. If a mother does decide to wean her child during pregnancy, she should wean him or her as gradually and lovingly as possible.
Child-led Weaning
"The child grew and was weaned..."
-- Genesis 21:8
A Time to Wean
and Abraham made a great feast
on the day Isaac was weaned."
-- Genesis 21:8
| Source | Suggested Minimum Times for Nursing |
| Sefer Rofeh HaYeladim (120) * | Whenever the baby has 6-8 teeth. (Approx. 10-16 months) |
| Tzemach Tzedek (Responsa 45) * | At least 18 months |
| Pischei Teshuva in the name of Adnei Paz, Yoreh Deah 81:16 | At least 24 months |
| Aruch HaShulchan, Yoreh Deah 81:33 | At least 24 months, up to four years (five years for a weak child) |
| * According to "Created in Wisdom", by Marilyn Tokayer | |
The most widely accepted opinion is that of the Aruch HaShulchan: at least twenty-four months, the maximum being four or five years. These guidelines apply to the mother, not the baby. In other words, the child should be permitted to wean whenever he is ready. Sometimes, for medical or emotional reasons, a mother is unable to continue nursing. In these cases, the above guidelines do not apply, and the mother should consult a Rabbi.
Pregnancy is a time when the Torah law permits a mother to wean her child prior to twenty-four months. In any case, she should not feel pressured to do so. Tehila Abramov writes in "Straight from the Heart" that both doctors and Torah law permit nursing while pregnant. In fact, many children wean themselves during the pregnancy. If a mother does decide to wean her child during pregnancy, she should wean him or her as gradually and lovingly as possible.
Child-led Weaning
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