Foundations of Japanese etiquette -- a primer
in good moods, we may make jokes, laugh and tell stories to make the shopping experience more enjoyable. If I say, "How's your day going?" he/she might respond, "Oh, you know, just another dull day at work." I would find nothing unusual about this remark, because we both know that most Americans would rather be doing something else when they are working, and certainly if their job is as a retail clerk.
A Japanese customer, however, would possibly have a heart attack on the spot if a store clerk addressed them in plain/abrupt speech and then went on to say they'd rather be doing something other than standing ready to faithfully serve honorable customers. It would not only be unduly familiar, it would fly in the face of the deep-seated Japanese concept of honor in service.
About those Jokes...
One thing that foreigners in Japan can't seem to get used to is that Japanese are not very big on jokes as ice-breakers, especially when making a speech. Most Americans' speeches start with some kind of joke as a sort of promise that the speech won't be too stiff and boring. Sadly, few deliver on that unstated promise.
Japanese speeches never begin with jokes. To the Japanese, speeches are formal occasions of great honor and responsibility. It would be unduly familiar to start off by telling the crowd a joke and would be a bit of an insult to both the listeners and the party who invited you to make the speech. In effect, you would be saying, "I'm not taking this seriously." Mind you, Japanese speeches are stiff and boring to Japanese listeners as well, but patience is a suit the average Japanese has long and in Spades. It is all part of enduring the ritual for the good of the group.
A note to you toastmasters and punsters out there: jokes are very culturally specific, anyway. They don't translate well!
You are part of my group
Japanese society is organized into groups, whether formally or informally. An example of a formal group would be a sports team, kendo class, office, etc. An informal group could be alumni of the same college, regulars at the same bar, neighbors, etc.
This group orientation has a firm basis in Japanese history. Regardless, even today, you will be treated very formally (Westerners might think "coldly") by a group until you have been fully accepted as a member of
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