One quick indication of the complexity and daily importance of etiquette in Japan is the structure of the language itself. The Japanese language is equipped with "levels of politeness." Various experts have placed the number of levels from four to six; I'm no expert, really, but I go with the idea of four, for simplicity's sake. They are as follows:
*Very Polite - Used for ceremonies and other very formal occasions/relationships
*Ordinary Polite - Used when addressing strangers or one's superiors (see senpai/kohai)
*Plain/Abrupt - For informal conversation with peers, including friends and family
*Rude/Condescending - Uses words that show undue familiarity or place the speaker "higher" than the listener, regardless of their actual social position. Usually not "obscene" in the Western sense of the word, but equally insulting to Japanese.
This can be very challenging for the foreigner who is learning to speak Japanese. Usually, we must learn and stick with the "Ordinary Polite" form for years, before we can get enough of a feel for a situation to use other forms. This is made more difficult by the fact that often our conversation partner will not be using that form, so we have to constantly be on guard not to change forms for the worse.
This is a concept so foreign to most Westerners that many use it as an excuse to chuck in the towel and forget about learning the Japanese language and culture. In English, for example, there may be several verbs for the same action, with only slightly varying shades of meaning, but they are all -- in themselves -- equally polite. "Receive," for example, is no more or less inherently polite than "get."
In Japanese, however, all verbs have polite and plain forms, and most have humble and honorific forms as well. This means that we must constantly be aware of our rank relative to the listener, and must choose words accordingly. And even if we outrank the listener, we must still use a humble verb for "I receive" and an honorific for "You receive," etc.
"Why is that?" you may ask. "And why do I get this funny feeling of outrage in my chest whenever you mention my being 'higher' or 'lower' than my listener?"
The answer is that Westerners and Japanese have a 180° difference of philosophy. Historically, Americans fought for freedom, independence... in short, the strength of the individual over the establishment. The Japanese, however, have a long history of service to authority and the society at large. Rebellions were violently crushed. Nonconformists met unhappy, bloody ends. Being rude to the wrong person often cost you your head -- literally.
