To The Lighthouse

After Mrs. Ramsay’s death, Mr. Ramsay became quite perturbed that Lily was unable to give him the level of sympathy he so desperately needed. Lily was unable to do so because she had not worked through those feeling of inadequacy she felt as a woman because she was so different from Mrs. Ramsay. She was also unable to give him sympathy due to the fact the had not been able to deal with her own feelings of loss concerning her friend’s death. She was angry with her and would not allow herself to grieve. When she finally does work through all these feeling, she is then able to sympathize with Mr. Ramsay because they are now both grieving over the death of Mrs. Ramsay.

Jane Dunn states that Virginia was “haunted by her mother until her forties. Then in writing To The Lighthouse, she managed to exorcise at last the sense of her presence, at times more real than the living; that longing that could never be assuaged; ‘the old horror . . . to want and want and not have’.”

Virginia uses sharp imagery of blades, to convey the feelings of loss and grief she feels, in this novel, that cuts a person emotionally, to the bone. The death of a loved one cuts huge chunks out of our souls, mangling us, then tosses us back into the sea of life. Her style of writing causes us to actively feel this raw grief and battering of our emotions. While Lily is finally allowing herself to feel this grief, Virginia interjects this vivid scene: “{[Macalister’s boy took one of the fish and cut a square out of its side to bait his hook with. The mutilated body (it was alive still) was thrown back into the sea.]” This particular scene expresses fully the painful emotion Virginia must have felt after her mother died.

At this point, several important things happen when Mr. Ramsay, and his children Cam and James, finally reach the lighthouse, years after Mrs. Ramsay’s death. He had been reciting over and over, on the boat, “We perished, each alone” when his soul is becalmed of his inner storms. He finds that he no longer feels the need to rant, rave, and demand sympathy from external forces. Cam (who is another aspect of Virginia) senses a sudden gentleness from her father and for the first time in her life, feels secure and beloved by him;

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