Many people experience faith and religion in cycles. Often when we are young, we question the importance of religion in our lives. Watching cartoons on Sunday morning was more important to me than making it to Sunday school on time. Yet, the longer we are given to think it over and the greater the amount of our religious experiences, the more likely we are to complete the cycle and come around to the original religious traditions that were unknowingly instilled in us from the beginning. In fact, I think a rebellious stage is often a prerequisite to finding religious truth. If we never questioned religious authority, we would never have the opportunity to develop our own unique testimonies.
This cycle of religious beliefs must be considered when planning an interfaith marriage. Be careful not to assume that just because your partner is not currently practicing his or her religion, he or she will not have strong feelings about passing religious traditions onto the children. Keep in mind that people's religious views do change, and this is even more likely when children are involved. Even if non-practicing partners do attend services themselves, the thought of denying their children the same religious upbringing that they had is often unthinkable, and this is just enough to convince them to become more active members of their faith.
Personally, I have already begun to solidify my religious beliefs as a result of my interfaith relationship. It's almost as if I was forced to re-evaluate where I stand, and this analysis has led me to an even deeper understanding of my religious roots. At the same time, my fiancé, who has remained away from his Jewish roots for some time now, has decided that he would like to begin attending temple services again.
Children are a long way away for us, but already our interfaith relationship has caused us to reach a level of spirituality that has led us to question how we will be able to combine our religious convictions for the benefit our children.
You cannot enter into marriage expecting to change your partner, but at the same time, do not expect your partner's opinion to remain unchanged forever. Change is a necessary part of maturing that we should anticipate and look forward to.
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