Combining the traditions of two religions can be both exciting and scary. Even though hundreds or even thousands of interfaith weddings take place each year, there are no real guidelines to follow in designing the ceremony. Interfaith ceremonies are known for their unique flavor as each couple adds their own creative ideas to the mix. Since there are no rules, interfaith couples must decide for themselves what they want to include from each religious tradition in order to customize a ceremony with which both families can be comfortable.
The pre-wedding jitters are not limited to the couple getting married either – Mom, Dad and the rest of the family tend to feel the pressure. For the parents of an interfaith couple, the sense of losing their child (or the empty nest syndrome) is compounded by fears that they will also be alienated from future grandchildren who may be raised in a religious tradition very different from their own. There will also be some anxiousness about the ceremony itself and whether it will properly honor their own faith and the family history.
One way to alleviate some of the anxiety is to include each set of parents in the decision-making process – especially when trying to determine the most important aspects of each faith to be included in the ceremony. Yet, if the thought of dealing with sometime over-opinionated family members makes you nervous, be sure to at least show your parents a draft of the ceremony ahead of time and explain to them any part of the service they may not be familiar with, so they know what to expect.
Planning well in advance and knowing what to expect for the big day will take the edge off of everyone’s anxiety. Yet, coming up with a plan for the ceremony can be a journey in itself. There are many questions to be answered and in the next few articles, I will examine some of the issues I have been addressing while planning my own interfaith wedding. Stay tuned…
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